Start of the 3rd trimester

Thankfully we have made it this far. When I told Greg recently that I wasn't feeling well, he told me that there is only 12 more weeks to go, it's just one more trimester babe!  i don't remember his exact words but they upset me at the time, even though I know he is just trying to supportive and encouraging.

I feel like the first trimester is coming back.  I am nauseous more frequently and I am super exhausted.  I have other ailments too of course but I do not want simply list my ailments and call it a post.  For now,  I am just quietly celebrating the arrival of the third trimester and praying that things go as smoothly as possible from here on out and that the little bean can be healthy.

Is it July yet?

I am very anxiously awaiting the arrival of July.  The midwife assures me that I am healthy and that the baby is healthy.  Good news.  However, being pregnant and keeping up with a toddler is somewhat challenging.  There are days that I feel like everything from my lowest rib to my knee is either hurting or stretching.  Those are the days when Madison seems to be her most energetic.  Those uncomfortable days are the same days that my energy is even lower than normal.  In general, it is getting more difficult to pick her up as I struggle to find a comfortable position to hold her. 

Some days,  I feel like I am just letting her down and that feeling is worse than any of the physical discomforts associated with pregnancy.  The other day we were outside, soaking up some beautiful spring weather.  She was excited to use her bucket of chalk as it just recently rained and the walkway appeared magically clean from  her previous drawings.  The cushion I normally use on hard surfaces was nowhere to be found.  I kept trying to get on the ground, to sit on the cement walkway with her and draw with the chalk.  No matter what I did though, I couldn't find a position that I could stay in.  I tried squatting down or sitting in several different positions to no avail.  Meantime,  she just kept handing me piece after piece of chalk and pointing at the bare walkway.  Her disappointment was nearly palpable.  I kept trying to find a workable position but started with some pretty intense cramping.  She really believed that maybe if she brought me the perfect piece of chalk that I would simply sit on the walkway, doodle with her and enjoy the day.  It was in that moment that I felt like a complete failure.  That I was letting down one child because of my own physical limitations, or that I was letting down Madison so that I wasn't causing stress to the little one on the inside.  

Tears streamed down my face as I tried to help Madison find another activity that we could both do together.  Thankfully, Greg appeared at that moment and was able to easily sit on the cement and draw with Madison.  She was content at last.  I still felt pretty bad about the whole thing.  Greg assured me that Madison still loves me and that I am trying my best with her.  He had other encouraging and kind words too, but most of them were lost to sobbing.  

After a good night's sleep, I was feeling better, more energized.  I found the cushion and spent a good portion of the next afternoon making sure that walk way was well decorated with drawings.

A whole month?!?!

I really do not know what happened. I kept thinking that I really should get online and update the blog. I kept thinking that and time just slipped away. So here are a few quick updates:

Decreased the anti vomiting medicine to just once a day. I don't feel any better or worse. The first few days were pretty rough and I still feel lousy in the late afternoon. That's just my "fading fast" time I suppose. With Madison, I would get home from school, eat a snack and then immediately nap for a good solid hour whenever I could.

Back to my starting weight plus ( as of this past Friday) a few extra pounds:)

I had my first prenatal massage of this pregnancy last week and it was amazing. For a few hours, I wasn't sore or achy. There are not a lot of massage therapists in my area who are actually certified in prenatal massage. I feel lucky to have found the right person for me during this time period. She does not use the table with the belly cut out of it and instead uses lots of pillows. The belly hole table freaks me out. Her information is here in case any of you are interested.

I hope to sign up for a prenatal yoga class soon or get back to walking regularly. We had a burst of warm weather a few weeks back but since then its been seasonal or cold and I haven't felt like walking

So far we are at an impasse for naming this little one.

Okay well miss Madison is up singing from her nap. Hopefully another whole month won't pass without an update

Breathing easier

The anatomy scan was last week and this week I just feel so much better, less anxious for sure. Less anxiety means better sleep so hooray for that.

The doctor's name was Dr. Bundy. As in Al. Cue the theme song to the old television show, Married with Children. I had a few funny jokes I thought about cracking but smirked at Greg instead and kept them to myself, at least until the Dr. left the room. I am sure he has heard his fair share of jokes anyway and did not need my commentary.

I was anxious to get started with the highlight of the visit anyway, seeing our little someone and finding out if everything looked okay. Though I was slightly uncomfortable on my back, I was more interested in what we saw on the screen than my discomfort. Right away, two little feet appeared. The doctor talked us through the whole thing and told us all the measurements he was taking. The baby appeared to be sucking a thumb, just like big sister Madison. The heart had both ventricles, the umbilical cord was working as it should. The spine and bones were all visible. The hemispheres of the brain were intact.

It is absolutely breath taking. There on the screen in front of me is this little person, this little life that my husband and I created. He missed the anatomy scan with Madison because he was at the 2010 olympics so I think it was even more magical for him. The doctor left the room, we made a few jokes and I shifted positions. The doctor returned and rechecked all his measurements. Turns out the baby is measuring a bit small for the age but not enough to warrant concern or push the due date back. The baby measured a few days off from the due date, but less than a week, which is within the margin of error anyways.. My own ob was not particularly concerned and recommended a follow-up ultra sound around seven months.

I am surprisingly not worried. Madison was a few days late. I was sick at the beginning of this pregnancy for a long time. Greg and I are smallish people ourselves. And all the major things are present and looking good, even if they are small. As my mom would say, "good things come in small packages."

The elusive top

I have been on the search for a professional looking, interview worthy maternity dress shirt. My suit jacket will no longer button over the baby, so I will be wearing just a pair of black pants and a dressy shirt. I thought that procuring this top would be relatively easy.

Off I treked to several local maternity clothing stores. One large chain store that has a maternity department offered only t shirts and tank tops and other summery, very casual clothing. Sure the jeans fit nicely, but no work appropriate tops were to be had. At motherhood maternity, the two quasi acceptable shirts were actually quite hideous. Prints and empire waists. I would not wear the particular prints or the style of shirt pre-pregnancy so I certainly am not going to wear it now. I even checked the clearance section because I was hoping to find a long sleeved shirt since it is still chilly here. I flipped through racks of several ugly sweaters but came up empty handed. My last stop was the outlet mall. I was disappointed to learn that the stores there do not carry maternity clothes and the one maternity store that was there was replica of the motherhood store I had already visited. Not to mention the fact that it reeked of body odor. Most pregnant women I know have a heightened sense of smell. Body odor is gross anyway and even worse when you are pregnant.

I did not have enough time to order from an online maternity store. And I get frustrated with that too. Many of the models on some of those websites do not even look pregnant. I understand that they are models, but at least strap on one of those fake belly things if you are modeling maternity clothes.

So the options were go to a regular store and try on a few shirts in a bigger size or try to work with what I had at home. Disenchanted with my shopping experiences, I decided to try on some of my clothes at home. I found a button down shirt that I bought during my first pregnancy that fits decently. It is not a maternity shirt but is cut a little on the lose side and falls a little longer on me. It will be weird to interview in something other than my well fitting black suit, but hopefully my qualifications and personal skills outshine any wardrobe blunders.

Anxious

The big anatomy scan is coming up. Unfortunately, we booked the appointment right after the start of the new year, so it has been on my mind for a while. As our appointment gets closer, time seems to go even slower. I think I have spent more time online on "birth boards" this time around than the last. Originally I wanted to see if other people were as sick as I was and how they were managing. Now it just seems to fuel my anxiety as I read about some of the things that have gone awry with the health of the mother or the baby.

I have to remember that I am doing the best that I can to take care of myself and the little uterine passenger. I have to keep reminding myself that I have done this once already and that somehow I did manage to bring a beautiful healthy person into this world. I hope and pray that I am able to do it again.

18 weeks tomorrow.

Weeks 14 and 15

Progress is slow. Time is even slower, I feel like I have been pregnant forever already and we have not even reached the half way mark yet.

Progress:

• At the appointment last week with my midwife, their scale showed I gained 4 pounds. I was nervous about gaining 4 lbs in two weeks but she said its fine since I am still just trying to gain back all that was.
• Tapering the IV hydration. Down to just half a liter a day
• Also trying to taper the IV zofran, with the goal of getting this thing out of my arm
• Spending time with Madison again during the day so Greg can work
• Some creative energy is returning as well
• Was able to make it out of the house and to my sister in law's baby shower all by myself

Struggles:

• Still many food aversions and smell sensitivities
• Heartburn
• Finding a comfortable position for resting/sleeping
• Drinking water throughout the day
• Shortness of breath ( already?!?!)
• Round ligament pain
• Low energy on a good day, down right exhausted most of the time

Random other things:

• Realized that the next time I see Madison's pediatrician for a well child check, I will have another baby with me
• Really want to be somewhere warm so I can swim. The idea of gym pool sounds repulsive to me right now (when the warm weather comes they take the roof off which makes it more bearable)